A lighter post… perhaps it’s all the pints of cider, fast food and celebration of the end of a chapter today that’s got me more optimistic.
So what now? I have been moaning with all of my inner contradicting dialogues and ponder, and I may be limp and numb to everything – that’s what uncertainty has done to me. But even in these thoughts, I have chosen to be happy. A soulmate of mine (I’m gonna call him my soulmate because he is beyond a best friend/family to me) unexpectedly reached out to me last year and told me “happiness is a choice”. It is true, because some people really DO choose to be not, I have a friend who shared that she felt like she enjoyed (emotional) pain. I really do understand that, because sometimes, I feel I do too… perhaps because it’s easier to feel pain, to use it as a pathetic excuse to cower in my shadows.
There are real sufferings in the world, TRUE sufferings… poverty, starvation, diseases, torture, robbed of freedom, psychological problems, disabilities and much more. In pale comparison, my living in fear is not one of them. I am blessed with a good family and opportunities. I have the freedom to choose and make my own decisions. I damn well can choose to be happy. Make that choice and look at the brighter and tastier side of the world. I have made the choice and am trying my darnest to simply be, be happy.
It won’t happen in a click of a button, and there are a lot of things to work through… but this choice to be happy has at least driven me to work towards a bigger picture – a happy life. I just have to persevere and figure out the kinks on my way to happiness (Easier said than done huh). When there are too many voices in your head, you need to trust yourself more and have a little faith, to listen to which one of those voices is from your heart. Still in doubt? I find asking a trusted friend/family who I believe knows me (often better than I know myself) to help me make sense of my feelings and what I truly want.
“I think there’s something more, life’s worth living for.”
“Who knows what could happen. Do what you do, just keep on laughing.”
Life is somewhat unpredictable like the weather, when it hails on you, leaving dents and marks, you don’t just give up (you mustn’t!)…. the scars will only make you stronger when you rebuild yourself. Just got to remember to always do you, BE you and I really got to learn to “keep on laughing”.
Choosing to be happy,