Me Finding I: Fear of Failing

We make Venn diagrams, pros and cons lists…. whatever we can to help us make a choice or at least ease us into making a choice we think is the right one. However, we can never be certain how any choice will play out in the end because life is unpredictable and full of uncertainties. We have to make the choice anyway because that fear of failing is an irrational crutch when anything can happen.

Yes, I am afraid to listen to my heart because I am uncertain what is true to my heart anymore… especially when my mind is in constant overdrive, confusing me that much more with more questions. I often have reasons for not pursuing something – like pursuing arts instead of science for my tertiary education and much more, I am starting to wonder if those reasons are just excuses for my cowardly self… excusing myself from failing.

Perhaps all this over-thinking is to help me truly understand and be certain of what I’m truly feeling, or perhaps I do know which is true but I am in denial. Whether it is the fear of failure or commitment, ultimately, it is the fear of making the wrong choice and failing that is the primary cause of it all. I want to stop living in fear, stop trying to always make the right choice because things don’t always turn out the way you expect it to, there is so much other factors in play – those we can’t foresee or predict.

I need to not let fear hold me back! In every situation, I just have to learn to always look at (for) the bright side and I just might find it’s a beautiful mess that I will learn from, gain experience, find my way through and eventually move on to the destination of better things.

         

Life is an adventure with its valleys and peaks, we all have to face these challenges on our journey called life… embrace, enjoy and savour every drop of sweat, ray of sun, drop of rain, waft of night breeze, breath of fresh air, battle scar and all in this glorious experience.

“When there’s a burning in your heart, don’t be alarmed.”

So let’s not allow fear choose for us. Take a deep breath, listen to your heart, and choose what it tells you to because that is most likely the choice of happiness. Nothing comes easy, I just have to try hard enough, have a little faith… I will get there.

If like me, you’re still on the saddle of the mechanical bull, still unwilling to budge, fighting hard to stay on the painful ride to finding that fulfilment, this read could be helpful:

Embrace which you fear,
Sum.

 

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