And we can’t go back…

Out of nowhere, this song shuffled into my mind while I was cleaning the kitchen at my part time job yesterday. As I softly sang to the chorus while intensely scrubbing with the heat from the stove that was just turned off radiating on my hand, all the futile efforts and unaccomplished tasks I swore to complete rained on my recent achievement of an engineering degree.

Senses pressured by lingering heat,

Sponge’s vain attempt to wipe the slate clean.

Specks of crumbs not stuck nor eaten,

Stay in anticipation of a forceful sweep.

This song does not exactly reflect my current situation, but last few lines of the chorus…

“Now it’s just too late
  And we can’t go back
  I’m sorry I can’t be perfect.”

Is it wrong of me to look back to try to figure out where did I go wrong? Is it naive of me to think that I can make things how it used to be, how I used to be?

“If you keep living in the past, then there will be no future.”

My efforts so far to quit dwelling on the past or worrying about the future were perhaps unfruitful because my soul still wanders and wonders about the past. I need to whole heartedly put all my chips in the present, instead of keeping them as mementos or saving them for an unforeseeable future. Most importantly, I need to stop feeling sorry for myself! GET IN IT and TAKE ACTION. Let the past be a reminder, not an excuse to not be as great (heck, greater than ever)!

Not who I was,
Sum.

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