We all like to think we’re strong and independent. We try to not rely on people, be it to not show weakness or not be an inconvenience…
Of course, I’m sure most of you have friends to confide and share the frustrations, joy, sadness and much more with. Do you? Or do you simply have friends but don’t always confide in them, in fear of being judged or being a burden? If they ARE your friends, you won’t be (as long as you don’t take it too far. Friendship is a two way street. And don’t be expecting them to read your mind!
When it comes to achieving goals, we like to make it on our own, right from the bottom… Why?
When I first came home, of course my parents offered to reach out to their friends and contacts to pull some strings on my behalf in getting a job. Initially, I was pretty resistant to the idea… Why?
Fear of being judged. Fear of being a disappointment.
What if I end up not liking the job? What if I perform badly at the job? What if I have to pass up on the job after all they’ve done for me? Won’t word of this bounce back to my parents? Will I cause some friction between my parents and that person? ……
All this will have a direct effect on people I know when it’s in motion. It’s much harder to disappoint people I know… and intimidating to know that this will spread within a circle of people I personally know. Fear of being judged…
It’s always fear isn’t it.
Sometimes, we have to put our egos and fear aside, and ask for help. It’s not weak nor are you a terrible person for needing help. You are if you don’t ask for help when you clearly need it. It took me a while to come to terms that the world today runs with strings and connections. The harsh truth is that breaking into any industry as a fresh grad is hard these days and people with the right connections will have an immediate advantage. It’s like playing a game, when you have the right cards, use it before your turn runs out. Sure, people may judge you and talk behind your back… you know where you stand. Show them you deserved to be given that advantage. Action speaks louder than words.
Sometimes, we have to put our egos and fear aside, and ask for help.
Be it career or personal troubles, speak up and reach out for help. No one is going to help you if you don’t help yourself. Don’t regret not asking for help when you had the chance to. Share if you’re in some predicament where you don’t know how to ask for help or such, I’m here to help too, as much as I can =) No one is truly alone.
“When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody’s help in any way
But now these days are gone, I’m not so self assured
Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doors”
We all need a lil help,